Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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