Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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