He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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