We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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