I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
