If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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