i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
