last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
