Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
