Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
