why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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