STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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