windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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