The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am one with the molecules
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
