we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize