Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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