It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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