What a fucking waste of an outfit
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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