She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My penis needs a shock collar
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
