Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize