in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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