they need to just BURY HIM!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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