At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
