hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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