Welp...herpes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
