Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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