Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
