my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
