exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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