im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
