In the future we'll all be gay
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
