ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
