We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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