I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
