if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
