i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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