The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
