There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
