This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
