He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize