I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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