Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
