I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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