Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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