So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
