Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I smell stomach acid.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize