He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
