Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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(682): View more from Texas

aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow

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(609): View more from New Jersey

my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college

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(574): View more from Indiana

I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids

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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?

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(802): View more from Vermont

My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.

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(772): View more from Florida

So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.

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(207): View more from Maine

One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live

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(276): View more from Virginia

Are these your boobs on my camera?

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