HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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