I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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