who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
