Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
