hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
