is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
