I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
