Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
