its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
