My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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