k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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