I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
