Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
