i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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