She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You are a genius and a whore.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
