why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Randomize
