Who did Billy Mays play for?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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