He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She told me I should be a condom model.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
