I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
