is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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