so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize