how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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