I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
