I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think your dad took our porno
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
