We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
